Becoming a Family Chapter 7

Read the previous chapters of our story here.

pictured: Our first outing at the zoo.

I really, really wanted to babysit the girls again. I thought, "I'll just call and see how the girls and their grandparents are doing. There's no harm in that." I chatted with Grandma and then casually (or as casually as I could) asked if there was another night we could babysit. Grandma mentioned a possible date the following month.

Wait a month? That was so far away! I practically begged to know if there was a time Matt and I could come over sooner. Maybe Grandma sensed my urgency or my desperation. Maybe she thought I was pushy. But she mentioned that they had baseball season tickets and wondered if we would like to care for the girls while they attended the games. She gave me the next ten dates of the baseball games.

I was ecstatic. TEN dates scheduled to babysit! Ten opportunities to spend time with the girls and get to know them. Ten! I didn't care what else might already have been on the calendar. Every other event was second priority to being with the girls. We would get to see them about twice a week for the next five weeks.

Each time we came over to babysit, we all got a little more comfortable. The girls would greet us more enthusiastically, we started to develop a routine, we were becoming friends with the girls and their grandparents. It was so, so incredibly sweet.

During this time we took the girls on our first big outing to the small neighborhood zoo. We borrowed Grandma's car so we could use her car seats. It was such a strange sensation, buckling them up and driving around town. It wasn't just Matt and me in the front seats. There were two little people in the back seat. Kids. We'd never driven with children in the car before. It was wild. And scary. And so, so fun.

Our morning at the zoo was a blast. We held hands with them and carried them, snapped photos of them, watched the monkeys and the emus together, rode the train, bought them little toy cameras at the gift shop, and basically relished every moment being together.

Predicting there might be more outings in our future together, Matt and I decided to take the plunge and purchase two car seats to put in my car. When I went to Babies R Us to buy the car seats, I felt so unsure of myself. I felt like a fraud, someone trying to pretend to be a mom, but really just a babysitter. My head was so mixed up. I was so happy, so hopeful, and yet so unsure, so anxious of what the future might (or might not) hold. "But," I reasoned, "Even for a regular sitter, car seats were very useful." So I went ahead and bought them. All the time I was looking at the other "real" parents walking around the store and wishing I could be one of them.